ok. most of this is taken from notes jim made the week after and also backed up with medical information from my notes which i gained access to in jan 2009, so the tense may be wrong, syntax off etc.
This story is why James and I decided not to have any more babies. We would have loved another, but such is life.
I might add, what happened to me is called AFE and is incredibly rare. so rare that one of my consultants had never seen one and therefore (thinking he was god) decided to try and overrule the one who had seen one…
This is what may darling James wrote for me about what happened. I have no memories apart from a few wierd flashbacks which are incredibly scary. I’m actually really glad I don’t remember anything until thursday 9th feb 2006… I think.
Friday 3rd feb 2006: commented on weird period pain.
Sat 4th
2:30am feels like contractions.
4:30 am: James checked cervix, dialated. (yet, he stuck fingers up there to give it a feel)
6:00 am: James says for gods sake Emma, I’m taking you to hospital whether you like it or not.
6:15 am: got to hospital.
6:25 am: midwife checks cervix, it is dilated 4cms. Says “you’re small so you’re high risk”. I already knew this. it’s in my notes.
6:35 am: get to labour suite. Given gas and air mask. I like! Told to bear it as best I can. My progress will be checked in 4 hours.
10:15am: midwife rechecks cervix. Now 6cms.
8:30 am: asked for epidural. Anethsthetist came in to see me. said “have to see another lady first. Should get to you in 15-25 mins.”
9:00 am: no anaesthetist. Called away to theatre, should be anther 30 mins.
9:30 am: anaesthetist still in theatre. “I’ll take the pethadine”.
9:59 am: midwife administers the pethadine, needle in left thigh.
10:10 am: pethadine kicks in. “mmmm, it’s like gas and air, only mooooore” I know it bloody hurts, but i really don’t care.
10:50 am: anaesthetist finally turns up. “I don’t need it, I’ve had pethadine”.
2:20 pm: another inspection of cervix. Fully dilated but Sophie’s head is not moving down. she’s stuck, but may work her way out.
2:30 pm: waters broken manually.
11:30 pm: pethadine wears off. Demand epidural.
11:45 pm: anaesthetist takes 35 mins to administer epidural.
12:50 pm: epidural not working. Spine is difficult to judge. Line probably in wrong place. Will need to do it again. “No! Hurts too much, want to go home” epidural not redone.
1:15 pm: MW consults head nurse type person. She agrees to give more pethadine one our earlier than normal.
1:30pm: more pethadine (this is why i had a flexible birth plan!)
1:50 pethadine kicks in, but not enough.
2:55 pm: now waters have broken Sophie’s head in unbearable. Reluctantly agree to epidural refit.
3:15 pm: new epidural ready to go. having some breathing problems but told it’s nothing to do with the epidural, just the chest infection i’ve had.
3:30 Pm: this one works. Can feel pressure but not pain. Midwife Paula is coaching me through contractions.
5:00 pm: Sophie has not budged. I’m exhausted and scared, i ask for C section.
5:15 pm: taken to theatre.
5:15 pm: James told to get into scrubs. I’m taken in to be prepped.
5:25 pm: James is with me. The surgeon wants to try a forceps delivery. They lay me flat on my back… bear in mind i not only have spinal problems, I’m pregnant and I have a chest infection… my head is flat and my legs are in the air.
I struggle to breathe and have what they think is a severe panic attack, but what is actually the beginnings of the effects of the AFE. around 26% of AFE mothers die at this point. anyways, what was going on was obviously making breathing harder. they think Panic spirals; it’s actually my body beginning a massive allergic reaction to some of sophie’s cells, hair, or her fluid which has leaked into my blood stream (possibly when my waters were broken). Surgeon gives up on idea of forceps. James shouting at surgeon is one of my flashbacks; so is another surgeon. the one who’s seen an AFE. The only choice is to give general anaesthetic to knock me out as I’m in such a state and beginning to have respiratory problems; I’m a category 1 c section which means they have to try and get sophie out in 15 mins to save both of us. a normal c section will take twice that time to get the baby out. It’s done very quickly so my scar now looks like they did it with a knife and bloody fork!!! but hey, I’m alive.
5:40 pm: anyway, back to the thing… my legs are lowered. James has to leave.
5:56 pm: Sophie is born.
6:15 pm: Sophie is handed to James. she has a pointy red head from where she got stuck, and really wide eyes. james is in total utter love, but panicked about me. he asks if he can have skin to skin contact with sophie cos it’s what I wanted. he takes off his shirt and is wrapped in a blanket with our naked little girl snuggled into his chest hair.
7:10 pm: I’m brought out of theatre to recovery room. I have a tube down my throat, an oxygen mask and a machine is breathing for me.
James is told this is because my body can’t breathe with the drugs in my system; and what he’s not told is that I’m still having the reaction. an antidote to the GA is administered. I take about 15 mins to wake.
7:20 pm: I’m still waking. My gag reflex kicks in. i reach for my tube. The surgeon removes it. I’m dazed, scared and finding it hard to breathe. Surgeon says I should be left on my side. This doesn’t help. Surgeon leaves (remember, this is the one who thought i was panicking, not dying). I’m still unable to breathe properly. I now enter stage 2 of the AFE. around 40% of those who survive the first stage will go on to the second. I’m not sure what happens to the other 35% left over…..maybe they’re the ones who lapse into a coma now and don’t wake up? hey my coma held off a while 
(yeah i know. gallows humour.)
THE RECOVERY ROOM (where it really went wrong, and then right)
7:25 pm. Nurses are telling me to calm down and take deep breaths from the mask. Keep trying to tell them that i can’t breathe and the mask doesn’t help. Keep trying to take the mask off to cough. They are holding it on. James is yelling at them to look at my face. I’ve turned blue. I begin to convulse. Yellow foam pours from my mouth and nose. First consultant comes in and administers massive doses of antihystemines which should have been given about an hour before this.
Liquid is running from nose and mouth. I go into respiratory arrest. I’m resuscitated once. My heart then stops. I am resuscitated again, this time with adrenaline and a defibrillator. this is what wikipedia says about the second stage of AFE : “This is known as the hemorrhagic phase and may be accompanied by severe shivering, coughing, vomiting, and the sensation of a bad taste in the mouth. This is also accompanied by excessive bleeding as the blood loses its ability to clot. Collapse of the cardiovascular system leads to…” if the child has not been delivered by now, it’s pretty much a given it will die or be braindead at birth. thankfully my baby was safe in her daddy’s arms.
7:28 pm: Paula the midwife is yelling for assistance and various devices. People are hurrying down the halls.
James does not know where to be. He stands in a corner. People lead him away; he thinks they must be nurses.
7:30 pm: my airways have been cleared using a tube inserted into the lungs. My heart has been restarted by compressions and defibrilation. They managed it once before but right after shocking me my heart stopped again so they had to do it all again.. I’ve been given a powerful gen.anasthetic to keep me unconscious. A machine is breathing for me. I’m in a medically induced coma and on a ventilator.
8:00 pm: doctor tells James I’m alive and stable, but critical. someone phones my mum and tells her to get there asap cos theyre afraid I might not last the night.nobody has told James this as he’s in severe shock
8:30 pm: James is allowed to see me before i go to ICU. I’m in the theatre again. When James sees me it terrifies him. He touches me and tells me not to go anywhere because he needs me and loves me. The doctor and nurses need James to leave so they can prepare to move me. He’s scared to leave me. People guide him away and hand him Sophie.
10pm: my mum and dad arrive. Mum asks him how he’s coping. he breaks down and she holds him. He feels guilt for what’s happened to her baby, she’s hurt and he can do nothing about it.
10:10 pm: doctors say I’m ok to go to ICU.
I was there 24 hours. 12 in a medically induced coma, another 12 in a natural one. my body took over.
Then got sent to the high dependency unit until Wednesday 8th when i was moved to a normal ward.
James was told to go home. I get arsy and say i need him. I’ve never had to look after sophie before; or at least I can’t remember having done so and I’m really scared. The midwives and nurses don’t seem to see anything wierd in my behavior which is strange. I’m disorientated, have little or no short term memory and at one point it’s in my notes that i told a nurse the baby was a boy called Michael.(wierd cos my imaginary friend when i was a kid was Michael). I told them that if jim goes then i will discharge myself. Afraid of a bigger lawsuit then they may already be facing, they agree to give us a private room, free. It has its own bathroom. And two beds.
I got discharged on the friday… but as we made a move they said “you cant take sophie. shes not been discharged”. we got arsy again and she was eventually discharged after four hours. I was on a cocktail of drugs.
8 weeks later I was diagnosed with post natal depression and had to give up breastfeeding to go onto high dose antidepressants. In 2007 I had counselling for 6 months. it worked. Kind of. At this point I still had no idea what’d happened because guess who I saw for my 6 week check? yup. the guy who’d never heard of AFE and whos inaction towards drug administration nearly killed me.
I have been left with mild liver problems which may be directly related to the amount of drugs i had when soph was born. I know this cos my gp says because my liver enzymes havnt improved since me losing weight and getting fitter, it’s probably irrepairable. but again, I’m alive.
I didn’t feel the mummy rush of love for sophie until she was 10 weeks old. now I can’t get enough of her hairy little head and the smell at the back of her neck.
I still feel grief that I can’t have more kids, but as the risk of a second AFE is so high, and as we didnt find out it was AFE until AFTER jim had had a vasectomy, I’m content with my Sophie.
